Today has been a flood of emotions. First- I do not have an ectopic pregnancy and my initial blood work came back confirming that I am prego! WOO HOOO!
So the glass half empty part – during the ultrasound there was this small dark round thing and it turned out to be the “sac” the baby will be in. Yes I said ‘will be’. They said that they can’t see the baby yet.
This put my mind in a frenzy of emotions. Turns out that I am a lot earlier than I thought. I keep telling myself that this is a GOOD thing. But I had only prepped myself to find out if I was ectopic or not, that the Bean is okay and that I would hear the heart beat. Didn’t hear it and didn’t even see him/her….that was something I wasn’t ready for so of course I became a emotional wreck. You know when you are so sad, scared and on the edge of a huge crying session that you suck it in because you are in public? That was me. I was trying so hard to not cry but it was impossible. I met Dr. Baker who works with my doctor, Dr. Irvin. She was so sweet and gave me a hug and told me to have tea when I got home. She said that it was okay to cry.
My tea turned out to be grits, eggs, and biscuits and gravy at Cracker Barrel with my mom and dear friend, Emily. It was exactly what I needed. Bad southern food with a dose of girl talk! So what is next? Tomorrow I go to give blood and I am crossing my fingers and will be having a little convo with God tonight that my numbers come back as they should. Good results will give me that extra boost in confidence to last me two more weeks until another ultrasound. Find it ironic that as I type, I am watching Grey’s and tonight Meredith’s doctor told her she has a “hostile” uterus….this is where I am suppose to be glass half full and say at least I did not receive that news- but I am a raging hormone filled pregnant woman. Not that easy folks! All I know is that I am pregnant, and I will try to stay calm for the next 2 weeks until the next ultrasound.