The day I became a mom

Tomorrow my baby will be 7 weeks old. People are not kidding when they tell you that time will fly by. 7 weeks….that is bananas. When I sit back and think of the wild ride we were on to get to this 7 week marker it blows my mind. Everything I thought I knew, what I was told, and what I built my confidence level up to for labor went right out the window the minute I woke up on the day to go to the hospital! So here it is the story of the birth of our precious Lily Mackenzie….

I was scheduled to give birth on June 21st.  We were suppose to be at the hospital at 6:15 am to start induction…the moment I had been yearning for over 9+ months.  Sleep was really out of the question as I was experiencing a horde of emotions. I was beyond excited to finally meet this baby that had taken over my body. I started to get nervous and scared of all the what ifs that could arise during labor. Nervous also that from June 21st on I was responsible for taking care and raising another human being….would I do it right?

As Mike and I began to pack the car with our hospital bags that had been patiently waiting on our dining room tables for weeks we got the call I didn’t want. Yep they had to push back the induction. The hospital was over crowded with other ladies trying to give birth. No fair. I was told that they would call us and to expect that it would only be about 2 hours, 3 at most. I was told by the nurse that I could only have a very small portion of something to eat since I had not had anything since dinner the night before (guidelines for induction!). So I had the smallest bowl of cheerios and settled on the couch and began to watch tv & the clock for the next 3 hours. After no word I called the hospital to check the status and again it was still over crowded and there was nothing they could do since more women had arrived in emergency during active labor.

Of course I understood that active labor triumphed my induction, BUT I was on the verge of a meltdown. I was full of emotions, tired and extremely hungry.  I was told they would call me back in 2 more hours and that they would work hard to get me in around 12:15 so I could be induced today. That is when I kinda freaked out. I had not prepared myself that I would have to wait another full day if they couldn’t get me in by noon! I took some breaths and tried to close my eyes for a bit.

At 12:15 I was on the phone again asking the status. The nurses knew automatically who I was without explanation, and I hated to be that woman, but I didn’t care! Thank goodness that the woman on the end of the line was a saint, I was already so dilated & I had an amazing doc on call because they told me to come in around 2:30 and that they would start me today!!


1:40 came and we were in the car and off. I just wanted to get there. We were told that we might have to wait a bit, but that they wanted me there waiting so I could get in as soon as a bed opened up. I think we waited about 35 minutes when were finally called back and that is when the “omg-this-is-really-happening” set in.

The room was big and spacious, but I had no time to really look around before I was in a gown and getting an IV. The monitors showed I was having contractions already….so that was what those cramps were! And then Dr. Botehlo showed up to break my water.  Best description is that I was peeing myself and continuously doing so on and off during the entire labor process! I was scared because I was told that there was meconium (baby poop) found, which could be harmful to the baby. They said the amount found was reassuring and they would keep checking during labor.

As soon as my water broke the contractions got worse. The monitors next to the bed showed when I was having one and how strong/long they were. I hardly looked over to view it during a contraction, only after to see how bad it was. To get an epidural you had to get an IV full of fluid. I lasted as long as I could knowing that the epidural could slow down labor.  That IV seemed like it took forever!!! As soon as it was gone the nurse walked in with another one…I was not prepared for that curve ball! She harnessed a contraption on it to squeeze it so it would pump faster. During the waiting game the contractions were horrendous. I tried slow deep breaths and inside my head I kept telling myself “you can do it”.

Now in between these horrid contractions I had my mom and Mike sitting less than 10 feet from one another, one on their iphone and the other clutching an ipad playing words with friends against EACHOTHER! I know the game can be addicting but come ON! As I would be huffing in and out making noises like a drowned cat, I would hear “Oh man that was a good word” from one of them and then the other laugh as they soaked in victory. I let it go on for a while as I concentrated on breathing until I had had enough. I screamed at them to shut up. I know I used some expletives….but, no other woman who has gone through labor would blame me!

When I had finally accomplished the two bags of IV fluid I had a team of people in the room helping me gear up for the epidural. The nurses had asked me to sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. They said it like it was as easy as breathing. I had to have Mike help we as the pain was so bad it made moving unbearable. I kept telling myself that I would get the goods soon and the pain would be gone. Gosh was it weird. I got horrible cramping, which I was told was a good sign. I then had these weird sharp spasms when the meds went in…again to be expected.

I was told it would be happy as a lark in 15 minutes….I told myself I could do it. 15 minutes later and I felt like I was dying. Another doc came in and injected the line with meds that were supposed to take effect in 5 minutes. 6 minutes later I was crying out in pain. Another doc came in scrambling through her pocket for the needle of meds she would inject. Again nothing. I literally didn’t know if I could make it. The pain was excruciating. Finally the original anesthesiologist came in and said that my line had moved out of place. They would have to re-do my epidural. She said this was most likely due to my scoliosis (curved spine) and that she would have to go below it. Again the nurses asked me to sit up and move my legs over the side of the bed. I looked at them like they were smoking crack. This time the nurse and Mike had to help me. At one point during a rest in between contractions I felt wetness from one of my boobs. I looked to my nurses and said, “I think I have milk spraying out..” they laughed and said it was normal. The doc finally found the spot for the epidural and the meds kicked in pretty quickly. As I moved my legs back over I looked to see if I was in fact spraying milk and realized I was only dripping sweat. I was in such pain I couldn’t distinguish milk from sweat!

DRUGS ARE AMAZING. I felt like a new woman when they kicked in! After a while of turning from side to side to help with the dilation I started to get a little loopy. The loopy turned to feeling a little dizzy. Then the room started to spin faster and I felt like I was going to pass out. I remember my nurse coming in and reading my blood pressure & call in the head nurse who then called for the doctor. I remember 3 doctors came rushing in and then 3 other nurses. They started to lay me down, raise the bed so my feet were in the air and put the oxygen on. Then I was given a shot of epinephrine to speed my heart rate. My blood pressure had dropped all the way to 55 over 30, which is insanely low.  For two more hours my BP went up and down and I had to have another shot of epinephrine. I was close to having a c-section because of it. I was later told that with both epidurals it was a little too much for my body, and it wasn’t that rare, however the level of which my BP dropped was.

I tried to keep calm; however, it was hard looking at both my mom and Mike’s worried faces. Eventually my BP leveled out and finally 9 hours from when we began it was time to push. I pushed for two hours.  The first hour felt like a lifetime. Lily was stuck and I was getting looks from the nurse and Dr. Botehlo that this was about to be a c-section. Something in me snapped and something supernatural took over and I was giving “amazing” pushes said my doctor.  I remember seeing a scalpel being handed over to the doctor and that is when I knew I was going to have an episiotomy….there was no time to dwell on that because all my energy was needed to push.

And then there she was.

It was an experience words hardly do justice. She was beautiful even covered in slime and looking so swollen. I didn’t get to hold her for more than a few seconds before they had to check on the meconium and she if her lungs were okay. From her cries, I had no worries. When they handed her back to me all bundled up I could not stop crying. I was so overwhelmed with love and happiness. My heart was breaking from the immense amount of love pouring from it for the child in my arms. I was forever changed at that moment. I was a proud mommy.

Lily arrived a day later than planned. I met my little darling at 3:05 am on June 22nd, weighing in at 8.2 lbs and 20 ½ inches! Mike and I are truly blessed and everyday we wake up we thank God for this amazing gift of parenthood. Of course I am bias, but Lily is an amazing child. She is perfect. Of course there are moments of crying, major diaper changes, and sleep deprivation…but  we wouldn’t trade it for anything. These last 7 weeks have flown by. And I wish she would stay small, but I can’t wait for all the milestones the future brings….

*By the way this has taken me a whole day to type up between feeding her, changing diapers, play time, and trying to rock her to sleep for her small naps! Hopefully I can find the time to write about the first 7 weeks before another 7 weeks pass*

Enjoy some pictures …

does it look I wanted to take a picture?? Ha

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  1. By Lily & Bliss | Happy Birthday to my sweet Lily on June 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    […] read about Lily’s birth check it out here.   Post on Facebook Tweet This Pin […]

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