Said the almost 31 year old

What the 30 year old me would say to the teenager me{Whoopsie! This was accidentally posted awhile ago, sorry this is not a “new” post to some of you!}

The phrase “If I had known then what I know now…” is voiced by many, but if we did know, would we appreciate the wisdom? Believe it? Act on it?

It is amazing how life comes full circle. The teenager Amy was carefree, a bit BIG party animal and like many teenagers, believed she knew it all. When going through a fight with a girlfriend or during a breakup with a boyfriend the teenager Amy thought her life was over. When my mom would try and console me, offer kind advice, the young me continued to shed tears as I doubted her. I mean how could she really know what I was going through?

Now that I’m the mom I will undoubtedly offer Lily the same motherly clichés (“there are more fish in the sea” or “if it’s meant to be, it will be”) in hopes that it brings Lily peace. As a parent I will pass on my knowledge and hope that Lily sees truth in my words and acts on it.

My mom did know what I was going through. She was once a teenager. Barely anyone looks at his or her parents in that light during a dramatic teenage moment. She offered me wonderful advice that I now know was valid. Of course I accepted truth in some of her advice, but believing that my life would be okay after a devastating breakup was only accepted when time passed. Even with age, there are some lessons/truths that we will only understand and accept until we experience the pain.

It breaks my heart to look at Lily and know that part of growing up is getting your heart broken. That she will have fights with girlfriends and some will leave her in pieces. Growing up can be pretty painful, no matter what social status or sex you are. I just hope that when she does go through life’s rough learning moments that it’s quick and there is a positive ending for her. I hope that she takes these experiences as learning moments and not hold them as scars.

So what would the thirty year old Amy say to the teenager Amy? Let me take a whack at it….

Dear Amy,

As your voice from the future let me first start by telling you that your life at almost 31 years is marvelous. You are so blessed.  It was a crazy journey to get to this point in your life, filled with good times and bad. So with that please listen up…

Learn to love yourself. Women are so self critical and the world surrounding us is filled with images and ceilings that are unattainable unless you make choices that are detrimental to you health and spirit. If you don’t love yourself, then don’t expect to find friends or a man that will either. And note: one day when you finally let go you will meet (and marry) a man (not a boy) that will love and respect every inch of you…inside and out. {BUT the only thing I am begging you to do is to PLEASE grow out your bangs!! It will take you until senior year to finally grow them out….do it sooner!!!!}What the 30 year old me would say to the teenager meDo onto other’s as you would have others do onto you. If everyone lived by the golden rule the world would be a better place.

In high school you will try so hard to be accepted by others that you will allow some people to walk all over you. You shouldn’t have to work so hard for a friendship. I know it’s hard to imagine but high school is such a small fragment of time. You will get over the jerk who dumped you in the hallway before Spanish. You will get over the girlfriend who stabbed you in the back. By senior year the guy who told a vicious lie will finally come clean and in the end many will feel bad for the way they treated you. The teenage years are tough Amy…BUT these heartbreaking moments will leave you stronger and smarter.

Life moves on. Yes getting dumped by a guy or fighting with your girlfriends is horrible, but your life is not over. Time will pass and believe it or not you will get over this. Instead of dwelling in the pain and sorrow try to step back and learn from this breakup or fight.

Don’t live with regrets. Each experience is a teaching one. You will learn about life or something about yourself…so why regret something that will only make you a better you.

Don’t procrastinate. You do this a lot in high school with homework or speeches. Just don’t do it. And while you’re working on not procrastinating on your Spanish, try studying a little harder. Being smart is not dorky. You are smart Amy…and the one true regret you will only have is that you should have taken school more seriously {and have grown out those bangs sooner!}.

Actions speak louder than words. Yes yes, your mom has told you this more times than you can count. She was right. But if you chose words over actions, make sure they are soft and sweet in case you have to eat them.

Learn to listen more than you speak. You are very passionate and with that fiery element you get quick tempered, failing to fully listen. During those moments learn to soak in the situation and every word.

Life is all about taking chances….so keep taking them. Amy you are full of life and your not afraid about making the leap and trying things out of your comfort level. Keep that quality because one day you will agree to join a co-ed flag football team (fake nails and all) and that man that will love you for better or worse will be there waiting.

Teenage Amy,  I can ramble on and on but will it really matter? You are stubborn and you will only believe in all the clichés that your parents tell you until you learn them through experience. So what’s the point of this letter from the future?

To tell you your parents are right? Everything they say and do is only for your best interest. There is truth in all of their little talks. Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t let it flow out of the other ear too quickly. Soak the advice in and try and take it. Knowledge is power Amy…but there I go with another “mommy cliché.”

What the 30 year old me would say to the teenager meSo maybe the point of this letter is preparation for the many talks I will have with our daughter. Yes our daughter. Amy she is so beautiful, smart and has that same stubborn fiery side. And like our mom hoped we would listen to her, I pray Lily will as well.

So teenage Amy, keep living life and enjoy every second of this precious gift God has given you. And do me a favor…go give your mom and a dad a big hug…because being a parent is the hardest thing in the world….and you won’t know that until you’re one yourself.


Your fabulous, older & wiser self

View Comments
  1. March 18, 2013 Reply

    oh my goodness – bring on the tears over here!!!

  2. Michelle Czarnik commented:
    March 24, 2013 Reply

    I think we should all have to write one of these letters and give it to our daughters later in life. We’ve learned a lot over the years. Xo

  3. Candace commented:
    March 28, 2013 Reply

    I can relate to SO much of this! Thanks for sharing, I think I might do this 🙂

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